This is not intended for theological debate :), but I enjoy theological humor.  You have Michael Patton (along with Carrie Hunter) to thank (or blame) for this belated parody of the “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

On the first day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, the fallen nature of man.

On the second day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the third day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, John chapter six, called and chosen, and the fallen nature of man.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, Synod of Dordt, John chapter six, called and chosen, and the fallen nature of man.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt, John chapter six, called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to, Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, Romans 8 & 9; Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me that I’m really a Calvie, Romans 8&9; Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.

Get CT In Your Inbox!

Don't miss a single update.

You May Also Like

The Church’s Bunker Mentality

Youth Culture Guru Walt Mueller who is the President/Founder of The Center…

Progressive Church Commercial

Oh brother…

Pastors: A Lesson on Enthusiasm from Jim Harbaugh

Pastors, it’s easy to become discouraged in ministry, but let’s take a lesson from San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh in enthusiasm.

Culture’s Clash with Christianity

There is a palpable and open hostility towards Christianity and God’s Word…