Classy Insults (Update)

I saw this over at Cameron’s blog and it was one of those things that you just have to post.  It had me laughing out loud.

Back when insults had class, you know before they came up with “your mother’s so…” jokes.

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
— Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway)

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
— Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it.” — Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
— Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… If you have one.”
— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
… followed by

Churchill’s response:
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there
is one.” — Winston Churchill

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” — Stephen Bishop

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” — Irvin S. Cobb

“He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
— Mae West

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison
your coffee! ” Winston replied, “Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!” (Shane’s comment – I think this last one is an Urban legend, but it is still funny.)

Update 3/11/09: Thanks Rob Harrison for the link as he used the Mark Twain quote from this post in his discussion on The Coming Evangelical Collapse.