I don’t watch award shows and so I did not watch Sunday night’s Golden Globes Award Show on NBC. I think they’re insufferable and I really don’t care who wins what award.

Ricky Gervais, a British stand-up comedian best known for the British television series The Office, hosted his fifth and final Golden Globs Award Show. I was made aware of and watched his final monologue late last night. It was glorious.

“You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking. I never did. I’m joking, I never did.” Gervais joked at the start of his monologue.

“Let’s go out with a bang, let’s have a laugh at your expense. Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel, so remember that,” he added.

Gervais took aim at the Me Too scandals that have plagued Hollywood:

“In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. They all have one thing in common: They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for ya. Talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies. Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes. Shut up. Shut up. I don’t care. I don’t care,” Gervais joked.

He dinged them later for their association with Jeffrey Epstein while taking a shot at how more people are streaming Netflix than watching movies in theaters and watching network TV.

“No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to cinema, no one really watches network TV. Everyone is watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out, going, ‘Well done Netflix. You win everything. Good night.’ But no, we got to drag it out for three hours. You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself cause his wife dies of cancer and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way so in the end he obviously didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend but I don’t care,” Gervais said.

He also encouraged winners not to give political speeches.

“So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg,” Gervais concluded. “So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God and f**k off, OK? It’s already three hours long.”

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