The Revised and Expanded Glossary of the New Social Justice Gospel

For those of you who would like a handy glossary of the terminology of the New Social Justice Gospel (which should replace any commitment to the original outdated Gospel of Jesus Christ and should be accompanied by throwing your Bible in the trash can since it’s no longer needed), here is the definitive guide in alphabetical order.

Bible – a collection of books containing primitive myths and stories you can interpret any way you want to as long as your interpretation supports social justice ideology; otherwise worthless and irrelevant

Capitalism – greed

The Elect – 1. all people of color (excluding whites), 2. all non-traditional sexual and gender deviants

Equality – 1. the belief that men and women are identical and interchangeable in every way and on every level, 2. the belief that the only difference between men and women is their anatomy (which is irrelevant in every way and on every level), 3. everyone in every arbitrary class making exactly the same income as all other classes regardless of any other social or economic factors, 4. giving unquestioned and unconditional credence to all forms of sexual expression or lifestyles regardless of whether they are healthy, sustainable, or moral in the traditional sense, 5. absolute parity in all outcomes in life and society, including but not limited to incarceration rates, death penalty quotas, standard of living, representation in all institutions of society, government, business, and personal life (note: equality in all its forms, objective or subjective, should be artificially maintained through government force if necessary in all circumstances and conditions, and lack of it should be dealt with harshly and swiftly no matter what its cause may be, and all real causes of inequality must be ignored and replaced with the single cause of wealthy white oppression and privilege)

Evangelical Christian – a hateful, racist, arrogant, narrow-minded, fundamentalist, oppressive, stupid person

Evidence – 1. this is primarily a meaningless term (if it does have any meaning, it has no place in the New Gospel of Social Justice), 2. what misguided white oppressors ask for when you preach the New Gospel of Social Justice but which you will decline to provide (see definition 1) and treat them as though they are evil, racist, and oppressive for even asking for it in the first place

Faith – 1. absolute blind belief in and unquestioned obedience to the marxist ideology of social justice, identity politics, systemic racism, white privilege, white guilt, and multiculturalism, 2. the opposite of evidence (in its former meaning)

Fascism – anything you disagree with (special note: you should attack and suppress what you don’t agree with using blind hatred and physical violence so that you can enforce mental acceptance of social justice ideology in society and punish disagreement, thereby avoiding fascism)

Generosity – being unselfishly willing to give money stolen from rich white people to those in need

God – social justice

Gospel – social justice

Great Commission – go into all the Western world and fiercely attack everything representing Western civilization, decency, and anything you arbitrarily believe is oppressive (tip: don’t think about this long enough to realize your own behavior in this regard is oppressive)

Greed – 1. capitalism, 2. wishing to keep the money you have earned, 3. the idea that owning private property is a basic human right and that stealing is immoral, 4. the misguided feeling that compassionate charitable contributions should be voluntary instead of coerced, 5. the idea that forced charity isn’t true charity

Guilt – being white (this is the only definition as this is the only kind of guilt there is)

Hate – anything you don’t agree with

Heterosexuality – oppression

Humility – 1. the belief that everyone who disagrees with social justice ideology is arrogant and morally inferior to you, 2. the belief that you are automatically more humble than anyone who disagrees with your social justice ideology

Hypocrisy – the totality of the social justice ideology and almost every single expression of it (tip: always fail to recognize this in yourself, and learn to be mindlessly and blissfully blind to it—the more you dedicate yourself to social justice ideology, the more natural this will become)

Inclusion – 1. excluding white people, heterosexuals, traditional Evangelicals, and those who believe in objective truth from everything about which you wish to be inclusive, 2. inviting people with a diverse range of ideas into dialog as long as they don’t present objective evidence for their convictions (in fact it would be better if they didn’t have any convictions at all) and they don’t disagree with your fundamental ideology of social justice, in which case they must be excluded in the name of inclusion (see “Evangelicals” for Social Action)

Intelligence – a disease for which social justice ideology is the ideal cure (avoid at all costs)

Jesus – a word devoid of meaning but extremely useful for manipulating others into accepting the New Gospel of Social Justice

LGBT – 1. saints, 2. people who have discovered their true selves in sexual and gender deviance, and who all social justice acolytes fawn over as though they were oppressed, misunderstood, and personally marginalized when in fact it is only their deviant behavior that is being questioned

Love – 1. hatred of white people, 2. stealing money from rich white people and sacrificially giving that money that isn’t yours to those in need, 3. endorsing the sexual deviance of those you call your friends so that they will remain in bondage to it—which is OK as long as you remain popular because they see you as loving, 4. encouraging people from other countries to break our morally and biblically sound civil laws so they can live in our society that is built on the stability of morally and biblically sound civil laws which you should encourage them to break in the name of love

Privilege – being white (tip: always ignore the privilege and success of minorities as this may inspire doubt in the minds of the brainwashed social justice acolytes that all privilege is associated with being white)

Racism – anything you don’t agree with (regardless of whether it has anything to do with race)

Repentance – publicly declaring you have committed the mortal sin of being white and perpetually hating yourself and apologizing to the world for being white (if you’re not white, not applicable)

Revelation – 1. the sudden realization that you are white and therefore automatically a despicable racist sinner just because you are white, 2. the sudden realization that if you are not white, you are not a sinner and every hardship you have experienced in your life is due to the malice and racism of white people

Righteousness – 1. being politically correct, 2. never offending anyone (unless they’re historic Christians) no matter what is at stake, 3. hatred and violence against white people, conservatives, Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and anyone else you disagree with, 4. willingness to disregard in the most cavalier way morally and biblically sound civil laws in order to pretend to have “biblical” compassion for illegal aliens who have broken morally and biblically sound civil laws and who frequently represent a palpable threat to the safety and well-being of your neighbors the outdated Gospel told you to protect (see “love”)

Saints – all non-white people

Salvation – if you’re white, not available; if you’re not white, not necessary

Satan – the satanic persona takes five primary forms, 1. The white race, 2. Donald Trump, 3. America, 4. Western Civilization, 5. Capitalism

Sin – 1. being white, 2. when white people offend someone by telling them the truth, 3. refusing to be politically correct, 4. being racist, homophobic, xenophobic, islamophobic, or whatever the -phobic du jour is at the moment, regaredless of the fact that those who are being accused of being racist, homophobic, xenophobic, islamophobic, or whatever the -phobic du jour is at the moment are in fact not racist, homophobic, xenophobic, islamophobic, or whatever the -phobic du jour is at the moment, 5. believing there is such a thing as objective final truth that is knowable, 6. following the Biblical mandate to the best of your ability to work hard to provide for your own household and avoid being “worse than an unbeliever” (see “greed”)

Truth – social justice, multiculturalism, gender identity, systemic racism, white people are evil, all white people are privileged (even if they don’t have any privilege), everything that’s wrong with society is due to the activity of whites, Evangelicals, heterosexuals, and cisgendered people (note: the ‘truth” of the New Social Justice Gospel should be believed exclusively by blind faith, as it has exactly no evidence to support it)

Violence – when someone you disagree with proves you wrong (you should respond to this fake “violence” with real physical violence so that you can have the smug satisfaction that you have successfully opposed fascism)