I love my life. I have four great kids, a wonderful husband, the best friends in the world, and the grace of Jesus. But I had made an idol out of obedient children, being super-mom, having a clean beautiful home, and other things.

And then I got knocked down, humbled. For the past year or more I have been sick. I never feel very well, I have no energy, I am in horrible pain almost all the time. I even tried to hide it for a while until I got so sick that I could not function. Trips to doctors in tears begging for help. And then every medical test known to man. Etc. Etc. Diagnosis, treatments, medications etc. etc. My children saying things like “Mommy is always so sick.” My heart broke.

But something greater happened. I learned to hold onto my treasure. My treasure is in heaven. My treasure is knowing Jesus. I realize now that to a degree I thought that I was in control. But I am not. God is.

It is not that I did not know this before. But rather I struggled with trusting in my own self to do things. It is amazing how sickness knocks you down, discourages you, depresses you, and forces you to lean on our Lord.

An eternal perspective. That is what I know now we as Christians ought to have. Living our lives for the Glory of God. Making a difference in this world for the sake of His Glory, and resting on His salvation, grace, love and sovereignty.

Update: Thanks to Family Research Council and Frog in Hot Water for the link love!

  1. So what was the diagnosis? Don't leave us in suspense. You'll be OK, won't you?

    I will pray for you.

  2. I have something called trigeminal neuralgia, and fibromyalgia. I also had some pre cancerous lumps which I had to have a biopsy on, and now will have to be watched, and with more lumps will be having another biopsy soon. Unfortunately a collection of several things. I will be OK. I am thankful for modern medicine.

    Thanks for your concern though.

  3. My first thought upon reading your post was that it was fibromyalgia. I've seen the advertisements for the fibromyalgia medication and the way it's described, well, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
    I've been through having pre-cancerous tissue removed when I was 21 and then again when I was 30 or 31. That's no fun, either. He doesn't give us any more than we can handle.

    The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2 KJV

  4. Amen. Sorry that you have been through the pre-cancerous stuff also. The trigeminal neuralgia when I get the attacks is the worst thing, but I am thankful for great doctors and meds. I feel so much better now than I did the last few months. I am doing some alternative treatments, which have really helped. I also almost died because of a bleeding problem.

    but i believe God has allowed me to go through this so He can use me in the lives of others.

  5. Hi Coleen.
    I was checking the net for some verses on God's sovereignity and was directed to your site. I praise God for His wonderful works in you.

    Sometimes He really needs to break us so we know that no one can make us whole but Him. That in our weakness, we find strength in Him.

    Continue to let His light shine on you, so others may see how wonderful His works are.

    In Christ Alone,

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