Leave it to the Obama administration to begin the final destruction of the English language. The State Department just announced that starting next month passports for children will no longer ask for the name of the mother and father. No, the form wants the name of “parent one” and “parent two”. It is got to be gender neutral just to be fair to all those non-gendered parents.
The Dr Seuss creation Cat in the Hat pulled out of his box two less mischievous, but two indistinguishable little brats called “Thing One” and “Thing Two”. Coincidentally, these two genderless creatures also took on a mission to utterly destroy the family dwelling of two little children, Sally and me. At least Seuss had the sense to call the woman heading home (from shopping? Gasp!) “mother”.
The Dog in the Blog
None of us wore pink or blue
Our parent’s names are One and Two.
Neither were we girls and boys
We all played with Barbie toys.
No son or daughter, sister, brother
Grandpa, Grandma, dad nor mother.
No one here can rule the house
Parent One nor Two, its spouse
Two little siblings here with me.
No one’s he and no one’s she.
We were never him or her
The differences are all a blur.
Our Parents gave us tots no aunts
For all their siblings wear the pants.
My sibling’s kids are all obese,
But none of them is named DeNiece.
The kitty cried, I thought they’d shoot her,
instead they took her out to neuter.
They took our puppy to be fixed
I guess that means its gender’s mixed.
Are you my daddy? I asked my father
He said be quiet and not to bother
Are you my mother? I asked my mama
Shut up kid, go ask Obama.
Original Poem by David Shedlock (copyright 2011)
David is currently an adjunct instructor of Composition and Speech at Marshalltown Community College in Iowa. His wife and he have also owned a business selling antique and collectible postcards on eBay since 1999. David was an activist with Operation Rescue in the early 1990s. He is a member of Trinity Presbyterian Reformed Church in Johnston, Iowa.
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