I donā€™t watch award shows and so I did not watch Sunday nightā€™s Golden Globes Award Show on NBC. I think theyā€™re insufferable and I really donā€™t care who wins what award.

Ricky Gervais, a British stand-up comedian best known for the British television series The Office, hosted his fifth and final Golden Globs Award Show. I was made aware of and watched his final monologue late last night. It was glorious.

ā€œYouā€™ll be pleased to know this is the last time Iā€™m hosting these awards, so I donā€™t care anymore. Iā€™m joking. I never did. Iā€™m joking, I never did.ā€ Gervais joked at the start of his monologue.

ā€œLetā€™s go out with a bang, letā€™s have a laugh at your expense. Remember, theyā€™re just jokes. Weā€™re all gonna die soon and thereā€™s no sequel, so remember that,ā€ he added.

Gervais took aim at the Me Too scandals that have plagued Hollywood:

ā€œIn this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. They all have one thing in common: Theyā€™re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. Heā€™s coming for ya. Talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies. Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes. Shut up. Shut up. I donā€™t care. I donā€™t care,ā€ Gervais joked.

He dinged them later for their association with Jeffrey Epstein while taking a shot at how more people are streaming Netflix than watching movies in theaters and watching network TV.

ā€œNo one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to cinema, no one really watches network TV. Everyone is watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out, going, ā€˜Well done Netflix. You win everything. Good night.ā€™ But no, we got to drag it out for three hours. You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. Thatā€™s a show about a man who wants to kill himself cause his wife dies of cancer and itā€™s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way so in the end he obviously didnā€™t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know heā€™s your friend but I donā€™t care,ā€ Gervais said.

He also encouraged winners not to give political speeches.

ā€œSo if you do win an award tonight, donā€™t use it as a platform to make a political speech. Youā€™re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg,ā€ Gervais concluded. ā€œSo if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God and f**k off, OK? Itā€™s already three hours long.ā€

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